Know Your Enemy: Tottenham Hotspur
Tottenham Hotspur
Nickname: Spurs, The Dallas Cowboys of London
Supporters: The Saddest Bastards in English Football
Founded: 1882
Home Stadium: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium (though I will always call it “White Hart Lane”)
Capacity: 62,850
Manager: Former Brentford Great Thomas Frank
Main Rival: Arsenal
Trophies: 1st Division Winners: 1951, 1961; FA Cup: 1901, 1921, 1961, 1962, 1967, 1981, 1982, 1991; League Cup: 1971, 1973, 1999, 2008; European Cup-Winners Cup: 1963; UEFA Cup/Europa League: 1972, 1984, 2025
Last Won The Premier League (or 1st Division) In: 1961
Basic History: Formed in 1882 by a bunch of schoolboys who wanted to keep in shape during the winter for Cricket season and turned fully professional in 1895. They actually won the FA Cup as a non-League-affiliated club in 1901, still the only non-League team to ever achieve that feat. They won the FA Cup again 20 years later, after an up-and-down spell, in between of which was World War 1.
Winning their first top-flight title in 1951 under former player and manager Arthur Rowe (who resigned from stress-induced illness, an excuse every Spurs manager since has considered in their deepest, darkest moments of isolation and honesty), Rowe set Spurs up for an extended run of success.
Spurs won the Double (the League and the FA Cup in the same season) in 1961, the FA Cup in 1962, and the Cup-Winners Cup (a tournament of European teams who won…Cups the previous year) in 1963 - the first British team to win a European trophy. Spurs won eight major trophies in the 16 years that Bill Nicholson was manager (1958-1974).
They got relegated in 1977, quickly came back up built around Glenn Hoddle and Argentine players Osvaldo Ardiles and Ricardo Villa, which was something of a rarity for Anglo-centric 1st Division English soccer, and they won two more FA Cups and a UEFA Cup from 1981-1984.
The club’s burgeoning debt led to a takeover by Spurs manager Terry Venables and now-billionaire Alan Sugar in 1991 and entry into the newly-formed Premier League in 1992. In 2001 Sugar sold his shares to current chairman Dan Levy’s ENIC Sports PLC, and Levy has mercurially been in charge ever since, firing managers Mauricio Pochettino, Jose Mourinho, Nuno Espirito Santo, Antonio Conte, Ange Postecoglou, and now Thomas Frank…all since 2019.
Spurs have this reputation of being “one of the” best clubs in England, finishing in the top 10 in the Premier League in 19 of 21 seasons since 2005, and in the top 5 in 13 of those seasons. But until Ange beat Manchester United in a janky-ass 2025 Europa League Final, Tottenham simply never wins trophies. It’s kind of funny. Like the Cowboys.
2024-25 Finish: 17th, their worst finish in the league table since getting relegated in 1977. They scored 64 goals, tied with Chelsea for 7th-most in the Premier League, but allowed 65 goals, worst outside of the three relegated teams, and Wolves.
Famous Fans: Adele, Tom Holland, JK Rowling (derogatory), Steve Nash, Sir Kenneth Branagh, Jude Law, Mark Wahlberg lol.